After two years of dating, you unexpectedly hear the words that you never thought you would hear: “It’s over”. The words don’t register in your mind, you can’t stand it, and you want him back more than anything else! What are you going to do? Texting and emailing won’t suffice, you need to understand and hear an explanation as to what went wrong and why. After some time to console yourself, you try to think back on any reason as to why this happened the way it did. You begin to ask yourself, “Was it me? Did I do something to cause the break-up?” But it goes deeper than that, look at your inner self and reflect on, let’s say, the past six months. Could you have done things differently? Let’s find out. Below, find several points that you should address to help you find answers. Remember, these are simply guidelines, but if you can look deep within yourself, you will find the answers to getting your relationship back!
1.) Firstly, you both need your own alone time. You need time and space to think things through. Social media will be of no benefit of you during this time, as Tweeting or texting him too soon will send the message that you’re very needy. Give it at least a month before you text him to see how he is doing; chances are he could be missing you just as much, with your time apart proving this.
2.) Take a long, hard, look at yourself. What exactly was your part in the breakup? Was it something that could have been avoided? Yes, this is a hard one, but you’ll come out of this with discovered truths and clarity—really give this a good shot!
3.) No need to immediately live in sweatpants and give up the makeup, you never know if he’s just around the corner.
4.) Keep your emotions in check. Never send an email or a text pouring your heart out, doing that will for sure frighten him and will make it look as though the breakup was your fault, and you are apologizing. Plus, guys don’t want an emotional mess on the other end of a message, it will make them feel like they don’t want a person like that in their life. A more casual approach like sending a message over Facebook or Instagram to see how he is doing and if he’s open for meeting up, is much more enticing and appealing.
5.) When you do speak with him, keep the language light. No need for shouting or raised voices, as that can make the possibility of a make-up disappear.
6.) Don’t make the conversation too heavy—show a lighter side of you. Don’t act like a desperate teenager in need of help trying to sort out your love life, and expressing how much you miss him.
7.) Try to keep busy and show him that he is not at the forefront of all your thoughts—even though he might be, he doesn’t need to know that. Most importantly, do not get involved in a rebound relationship! Don’t let him see that you have moved on when you really want him back.
8.) Try to be elegant and composed, but in a positive mood and let him see that you are a bright, positive, and confident young woman, who knows how to look after herself; attributes that would make others envious.
Whether you choose a text, email, or Snapchat, try to arrange a meeting with him so you can think clearly about your plan, and how you are going to express your thoughts in a way that shows him the new and improved, confident you. When you do meet up for the first time after the break-up, keep the tone of the conversation light, but do let him know that you are a different person—you’ve grown. Let him know that you have taken the time apart to reflect on the relationship, and you are prepared to make changes in order to be together again. Do not get into a he-said-she-said dispute, which will be of no help to you or to restarting the relationship. Be prepared to be the “fall guy” if you must, accepting blame where needed and be reconciled with those thoughts.
If you feel as though you need more guidance on this subject, you can always turn to informative booklets, specifically, “Texting Obsession”, which will provide you with even more information on how to win your boyfriend back!